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Wednesday, 26 June 2013 01:57

Living in fear

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My name is Rob and I feel like I am losing the battle with my anxiety and panic attacks. I have had social anxiety disorder and panic attacks for the last 30 years and have been able to maintain a close to normal life style. Over the last five years though it has been an exhasting battle that has taken it's toll on me. I was in an accident and crippled my left ankle making it very difficult to walk and limits my mobility to a few blocks.

Because of my anxiety and panic it makes it impossible to rely on plublic transit. Over the last two years my condition has become so bad I had to be admitted to a hostpital for hypertension and panic attacks twice. The second time I lost partial vision in my right eye and has never returned. Now when I have a panic attack this is the first thing  I worry about losing sight in my other eye. A month later I was back in hospital with a heart attack.

It was only a few years ago I was still working out every day and had an active life style. Now I am a borderline agoraphobic and only leave my place for maybe thirty minutes a day and some days I never step outside. This only adds to my condition, it's like a snow ball rolling down hill and it just gets faster, bigger and spinning out of control. This is why I joined Anxiety Social Net, this is my last resort of some kind of preventive action and daily maintance for my anxiety and panic.

I tried to go for therapy but my anxiety would become so bad just from being in the waiting room I was never able to make it thriugh the door; Some time it will take me two or three tries just to get my groceries and it always happens that I get a panic attack waiting in the check out line. I have become a prisoner of my anxiety and feel like I am being sucked into a black hole.

I hope by sharing my situation and hearing other peoples stories it will help me fight back against my anxiety and panic.

Last modified on Thursday, 27 June 2013 23:17

18 comments

  • Comment Link bijou Monday, 17 November 2014 05:30 posted by bijou

    Sorry, My post here has some awful the auto-corrections made.... and on seeing them they honestly made me feel panicky!

  • Comment Link bijou Monday, 17 November 2014 05:15 posted by bijou

    Rob,

    My heart goes out to you and like the others here I know your life can and will get better!

    I have had agoraphobia for many, many years. I have several books by Claire Weekes that have truly helped me and changed my life.

    There are therapist that will make home visits, usually found through a hospital instead of counseling office. Perhaps the social worker at the hospital you were in can help you with that.

    A few things made it easy for me-

    Eating small regular meals without sugar- low blood sugar makes anxiety and panic worse
    A small brown paper bag to breathe into when panicking- we don't realize we are hyperventilating most of the time
    Vitamin D3
    Some excretes even if its just walking in place for 5 minutes, laying on the floor kicking your legs in the air, It really helps metabolize the stress hormones!
    Eliminate as much from your like as possible, just do what is needed.

    Rob, hope you will check in again and let us know how you are doing!

  • Comment Link Janna Tuesday, 04 November 2014 13:30 posted by Janna

    Hi Rob,I know how you feel. The sensations are new for me, and perhaps you could write about your triggers or thoughts that trigger the panic attacks?

  • Comment Link AAZP Sunday, 19 January 2014 13:27 posted by AAZP

    Hi Rob I know your story all to well. I don't know much about you but what helped me tremendously is finding out after 50 years about a program called Panic Away. The best and only thing I got from it was recognizing that the anxiety/ panic is just sensations. When I feel it coming on I slowly count from 21 backwards repeat as many times as needed until it subsides .Sounds silly but work MOST IMPORTANTLY Get off Caffiene!!! Sugar and Alcohol. I was shocked when my doctor told me those words but after a year now because it takes so much to get those things out of your system. My brain doesn't race as much and I am much calmer DIDN'T THINK I COULD EVER SAY IT. I still struggle but i keep at it. Sincerely Best of Luck.

  • Comment Link AAZP Sunday, 19 January 2014 13:27 posted by AAZP

    Hi Rob I know your story all to well. I don't know much about you but what helped me tremendously is finding out after 50 years about a program called Panic Away. The best and only thing I got from it was recognizing that the anxiety/ panic is just sensations. When I feel it coming on I slowly count from 21 backwards repeat as many times as needed until it subsides .Sounds silly but work MOST IMPORTANTLY Get off Caffiene!!! Sugar and Alcohol. I was shocked when my doctor told me those words but after a year now because it takes so much to get those things out of your system. My brain doesn't race as much and I am much calmer DIDN'T THINK I COULD EVER SAY IT. I still struggle but i keep at it. Sincerely Best of Luck.

  • Comment Link Albie Thursday, 07 November 2013 09:33 posted by Albie

    I suffer from,this also and I found a peer support person who comes to my house and that helps, and a little at a time I am trying to learn how to control my anxiety. I will keep you in positive thoughts.

  • Comment Link helpme Friday, 11 October 2013 19:04 posted by helpme

    think positively and be prayerful, i use to take medications for my anxiety to go but its like it even get worse. i discover that when i help people i have less fear, just try to create a happy time time for yourself. i guess these will help, above all trust in Jesus and pray at all times, u will see the changes that will take place in your life, hopefully this helps you

  • Comment Link helpme Friday, 11 October 2013 19:04 posted by helpme

    think positively and be prayerful, i use to take medications for my anxiety to go but its like it even get worse. i discover that when i help people i have less fear, just try to create a happy time time for yourself. i guess these will help, above all trust in Jesus and pray at all times, u will see the changes that will take place in your life, hopefully this helps you

  • Comment Link aloha1983 Saturday, 05 October 2013 00:39 posted by aloha1983

    Hi Rob, some therapists will come to your house if you ask. Might be worth it!

  • Comment Link Batmom1973 Friday, 30 August 2013 21:03 posted by Batmom1973

    Hi, Rob,

    Im an anxiety suffere, too. Medication saved my life.
    I also was one of the first to be prescribed paxil and I did gain a lot of weight and I'm still on it after 20 years. Yes, the side effects suck, but anxiety and not living sucks worse. I do have to say, that therapy works wonders as well. Keep going to therapy, even if you panic. I am not minimizing the fear. But the only way out is through it. Keep trying to do the things you are afraid of and after awhile, the fear is diminished.
    Finally, I hope not to offend you, but prayer works!

    You are in my thoughts, Rob. I know things can get better for you. I am rooting for you!

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