Everything is good with me today. That should make me feel better... and i am, but i went through this so many times, i know i should be aware with my reaction to things, and observe other peoples behavior to compare it. I don't put pressure on myself to be like them, but i observe events that make me nervous, and make sure i am reacting in a healthy way comparing myself with other people's behavior.
Here in my new job, as developers, we use a technique that recquires a short reunion at morning everyday. All the software factory get toguether and speak about what we did yesterday, and what we will do today, one by one, person by person. It normaly takes 20 minutes. It is useful for sharing experiences and know who can help you with a complex problem, and pehaps find someone that had faced it before.
I was relaxed the first days speaking about it, but last week, one day i could not sleep thinking about what i should say in the morning. I was having trouble with a project, that now is finished on schedule to the amazement of my colleagues, but at the time i was unsure i should just say that i was still on the same issue. The next day at morning i got late at work, and missed the reunion (the anxiety disturbed my sleep and getting up)… i did not hesitate and went speak with my boss (that knows about my Social Anxiety), and told him i did not knew it would be an issue, but it was. His sugestion was that we spoke everyday before i went out home about what i should say the next morning, and we do that everyday.
I am very lucky to have a boss like that. Makes me feel more inclinated to help the company in whatever work they need; and i wish more companies teach this attitude to their leaders. Leaders should not just assume employees are lazy.
One thing i should mention as my difference in my Social Anxiety, and as an advice to you: In the reunions i never appear shy, and differently from my colleagues that enjoy chatting and joking with other colleagues freely during work, but in reunions lower their heads and speak very low having trouble to chose words... i keep using the techniques i trained filming myself and reading about it: Speak clearly; look in the eyes of people and respond with a smile when they smile; show that you are open to advices and comments and ask for it when necessarily; show that you are in trouble about some issue at work, because that shows your are humble, and people like this. Be the person i want to hear and see in myself.
I am not saying it is easy to do. But i keep training it. I sweat, became nervous, but slowly i am getting used to it, and speak better and better in front of people. The only difficulty is that i still have to know in advance what i have to say… my next step is beeing relaxed EVEN if i don’t have nothing to say, or have to come up with it at the spot. Rome was not built in a day…
Sometimes it is funny how people assume i am charismatic and easy going, when i have such issues with anxiety. The difference between me and their behavior and thinking is pehaps that i am such a nerd, not only in work, but about my own problems. I apply my education in my own life, not only in academy and work. We can figure out how to solve things with science, and practice teaching ourselves, and bring down the notion that we will always be as the way we were born or grew up to be.
... i also am aware i have issues, and i am not in denial.
Small victories are coming one by one, and it is very important to us to keep track of them to make us remember that the effort is not useless.