Today is another day, like most others. I feel so melancholic, and yet I am still laughing and smiling at work, and trying to around my spouse. Little do my coworkers know I feel sick to my stomach, and spent the 1st 20 minutes of my drive to work balling because I didn't want to be a burden any longer. I don't know how to deal with these. I don't really exactly have the benefits coverage to go out and go to a doctor to discuss this, and if I need a prescription I can't afford it right now. I'm also scared a doctor will tell me there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, lose some weight and the depression and anxiety will disappear.
I had a friend explain it very well the other day, based on the Spoons theory. Take 10 pens for example, those represent the mental/emotional/physical capacity I have to complete tasks during the day. Each task/activity costs a pen. Getting out of bed, showering, basic hygeine, getting to work, spending time with my spouse, those all take up pens. When it comes down to it sometimes I forget to do things.