Hi all, I'm fresh to this site and in need of some advice/help. I've been dealing with anxiety since I was 11-12 years old: It all stems from my phobia of throwing up. That's the root of my problem. Whenever I get sick, it's borderline violent (I won't get into details). Anyways, I've noticed that my triggers have been food. It's not an appearence thing, but I always have to watch what I eat in terms of avoiding anything too rich in flavor, otherwise I might feel sick. Whenever I experience my panic attacks, fear of death isn't something I typically think of (for further perspective).
Mentally, I've always had somewhat of a handle on whenever a panic attack comes about; by this I mean that I'm calm and find out my escape plan and get to my safe space to try and get myself down at a good level. I'm aware that my body is clearly going through something so I never try to fight it. Although lately, my anxiety has been absolutely horrible in that it comes out of nowhere and it's extreme. I've been having panic attacks every day for over a week. Today I started to hyperventilate and my hands started to get numb/tingly (which has never happened before). The first sign I know when it's going to be bad is when my heart rate is doubled and I can almost hear it. My symptoms in order: heart rate, going pale, nausea, hot flashes, issues breathing, shaking/shivering, IBS, overall panic/irritability. I normally cope by taking some type of ant-acid or pepto and chewing mint gum. This really helps me calm down and it prevents my IBS from kicking in too much. Since I'm so terrified of throwing up, I almost look forward to my IBS kicking in because I need some sort of release in stomach pain. Although this gets difficult when a bathroom is not nearby. I also have a habit of rubbing the back of my neck pretty violently to try and calm down, if it's really bad.
I'm reaching out because throughout this whole time I have never seen a therapist and truly seeked for help since my anxiety was relatively mild. Recently, I've noticed some heart pain with the stress and I'm hoping someone here can shed some light on my case. I've tried marijuana for these issues, but I get super paranoid really fast. I don't see medication in the cards for me, but maybe hypnotherapy? I'm trying to reach out to some therapists specialists in my city so I can talk my issues out since I enjoy going into detail. Please let me know if you have any insight! :(