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Saturday, 26 May 2012 05:03

Anxiety: What it Means to Me

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Fear is a major part of my life. I’m scared to get up, scared to go to work, scared to come home from work, scared to go to sleep and also scared to do everything in between. It’s this fear that causes anger and pain. I know the thoughts I have are irrational and that my mind is playing tricks but the helplessness causes me to mentally “beat myself up” over it.

what is anxiety to me:

Fear,

Anger,

Embarrassment,

Demotivation,

Pain,

Overwhelming Emotion,

Strength,

Hope.

 

It is a pretty standard list, if you search anxiety and depression symptoms you are likely to find all of them listed; except two. Strength and Hope. The reason I have included these will become clear by the end of this blog.

                       When I have a panic or anxiety attack I always get a pain down my left arm and a crushing feeling in my chest. After being on this site I have found that I am not alone in feeling this pain. However, I am always wary to dismiss it as just an attack as it’s always in my mind that this time it could be an actual heart attack!

            One of the main reasons I decided to write this was to push myself. If it embarrasses me, then so be it. There have been many times I have avoided doing things because I was scared of being judged, failing and making an utter fool of myself; but recently I made a conscious choice to do the things I would have shied away from regardless of what anyone may think.

 

It’s easier said than done.

 

How will I ever know if I am good at something unless I try it? How will I find something to distract me from being anxious and depressed without giving it a go? I recently saw this quote that sums up what I mean. It is from a man called Fredrick Smith:

 

Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try anything.

 

            I’m often perceived as lazy. This is a tag that annoys me because I do not choose to be, motivation is not something I can control…yet! As sufferers will know, the effort it takes to get up in the morning alone, let alone the strength it takes to make it through the day, is something that many people cannot understand.

           

This leads me nicely on to Strength and Hope.

 

If you think of all the energy, strength and effort you put into fighting your symptoms and living a normal life (whatever that is!) shows how amazing we really are and with just a little self-belief we can take control of our lives and not live dictated by the disorder. The strongest people I know are the people who live or have lived with mental health disorders, and that gives me hope for the future.

 

Dale (profile name Megalatron)

 

Please feel free to add me or inbox me with feedback or just a chat. No-one has to suffer alone!  Also thanks to user kevin88 for drawing my avatar!

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Last modified on Thursday, 31 May 2012 21:17

5 comments

  • Comment Link OwlJulie Wednesday, 20 March 2013 11:26 posted by OwlJulie

    I believe you are right. It's the people who are having a tough time just facing daily common activities that really must be the most courageous, strongest human beings ever.
    Additionally, i would let you know that adrenaline and cortisol give those pains because it's the fight or flight response...
    Additionally, you can 'ride the wave of breath' as Stephen Cope says:http://www.personaltransformation.com/stephen_cope.html
    "I have found it helpful to repeat the mantra: "Soft belly." It's so simple. In the midst of the waves of life, just soften the belly." This releases stress and slows down the flight or fight in the body.

  • Comment Link Jonn3 Wednesday, 30 May 2012 00:45 posted by Jonn3

    How does this site work? What really is the purpose?Not clear to me how this thing could impact anyone with anxiety.

  • Comment Link Rusty Covey Tuesday, 29 May 2012 18:51 posted by Rusty Covey

    A child can get this condition once their mind is working and they become aware of the conditions around them, creating fears.
    My belief on anxiety and panic attack is the brain telling to you to be more active, to confront your fears, to take risk, to create a dream and pursue it to the end.
    Its my belief the brain is a survivor, the brain is sending you a stress call to do something and you are not doing anything. You are thinking yourself out of doing things. This causes anxiety and panic attacks to develop.
    So, me how you do something. I will so you a hundred different ways to do it and get the same results or better. My point is, there isn't a person on this planet who has it all done right.
    If, you like hearing you voice tell you what to do. Then, you will always be on medication and living in fear. The day you decide "I will do things different today."
    I'm going to smell new things today, I'm going something different today, while shopping I'm going to ask a stranger if they have ever tried this product, by starting with a smile, "excuse me have you ever tried this product before?" I'm going to touch ever surface around me, I'm going to slow down to listen to the sounds around me.
    I have learned people with mental illnesses live one day to the next almost like Dan Aykroyd did in Ground Hog Day.
    You have to get your personal life in order, before moving on to the challenges outside your home life. When at home how many things will you do from habits. A habit is anything you can do without having to think about how to do it.
    How many things in a day can you do without having to put any thought into it? You do it from habit. So, start with things at home. You need to start changing you life at home first by changing how you do something.
    The main thing to remember when changing something, there are hundreds of ways to do something. Use your imagination, be creative, explore new avenues when doing anything.
    Rarely, will I ever do something the same way twice and Psychologists have a hard time connecting with my success. By all means I shouldn't be as highly functioning as I am.
    Explore your five senses at home, then take them on the road to explore more new things. When you stop living through habits, people around you will take notice of you.
    Remember these things, never do anything for attention or recognition, never do anything from habit( focus on what you are doing), when you get an impulse say this word to yourself loud, "STOP" "STOP",
    Next time, we will explore creating new values to replace the old ones. Actually, these values are the ones you had as a child.

  • Comment Link sassy070750 Tuesday, 29 May 2012 14:44 posted by sassy070750

    I loved you reading. Hope is what keeps me going. Motivation is the hard thing.

  • Comment Link Susan smith Monday, 28 May 2012 23:07 posted by Susan smith

    Well said, all that is so true for most of us, I have all the hope, just wish I had the strength.

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