My Journey is still going, but in truth I had my darkest days and moments where I thought it would never get better, never seem better. Faith is something that everyone says you should have and in reality even if not in a religious sense it is all about self belief- I know I can, be what I want to be- If I work hard at it Ill be where I want to be.
I have kept pushing and often have the dark days of being fed up, fed up of medication, fed up of being ill, tired, run down, physically and emotionally exhausted and then i think about how selfish it makes me to feel so concerned about trivial things- then I scold myself for telling myself off.
If you are reading this then you like me, have suffered and had a bad time of it, life dealt you a shoddy hand but you kept taking a new card from the pack, you havent folded yet- neither have I.
We have a right to feel upset when something bad happens to us or even because of how we are- but we must never let that feeling prolong and we must try to encourage a more positive thought volcabulary 'I can, I will, I want to...' not I cant I ll fail or its because Im rubbish.
Self beration is a waste of energy and thouhts and its a waste of time, you need to think of the worst case and the outcome you want from a situation.
worst case is so-called because its still only 50/50 it will happen, so what do you have to lose in most situations nothing because what we see as failing is actually growing adn learning.
As a baby you fall over but your brain says you have legs im telling you to use them, try again, and you do- eventually you walk.
In life we all try to run before we have walked and cant understand why we have to keep getting up so much.
i am blessed I have a beautiful family and a loving understanding partner, james has been amazing and I truly love him.
Its times like these, where Newtown happens that I truly realise how thankful I am and you should be, because whatever feels so bad that its the worst ever it is not as bad as it could be.
Love yourself and the rest will fall into place <3