A conflicted rampage taking over every cell of your anatomy; conquering your trinity of body, spirit and mind. The irrational wave of self loathing and intrusive thoughts hits you and you can't breathe. As if being suffocated by a darkening mist your lungs feel tight and oxygen seems unavailable. Each wispy breath quickens the general pace of the movement of the rib cage expanding. The lightheadedness that follows is a normal reaction. Suddenly you feel like you're going mad; like you can't even control your own body as your heart rate throbs at an excessive rate. There is no peace to be found as butterflies surge through the stomach and tears pearce the eyes. Yet through it all you fake a smile; hide the pain and face the day.