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  • Does anyone not speak to their mother?

    Me and mom under one roof: we don't speak except to get formalities out of the way or to ask if one another wants something from the store. But talking about our problems, our own feelings, about issues, worldly and personal, that's missing. I wonder if she's waiting for me to say something, but that I've lost all hope in her advice. Idk...I just feel like this is the one thing that fucked my life up all the more, an estranged relationship between parents and yourself.


    1. I've explicitly admitted to her about two or three years ago that I didn't think we had much of a connection, that the chance to bond with each other was nearly over and that I lost the want to connect. I regret it, because it was all too soon, and that I was fulfilling a prophecy by exclaiming that.
    2. My notions about why I wish we connected: I keep thinking it'll benefit me socially, but at the same time, am I only wanting to connect so that I benefit myself? I feel egotistic here, but I'm dying to know my mother, to let her know all the shit I've been through in the last 10 years.
    3. The awkwardness of looking at her and hearing her. Something still pisses me off about my mother. Like, she sounds immature, in a bronx Puerto-Rican-ish sort of way. For example, she'll ask "why does there have to be so many problems and all this killing and violence in the world? Can't there be just one day where everything's peaceful?" Noble? Yes. General? Enough to anger an academic. To me, I was just never inspired by her to do anything with my life because she'll say shit like that, something naive and lazy, things that never addressed single mother hoods, poor nutrition, violence in regions of the bronx more susceptible to it, in privacy or public or outright war bombings, etc. etc. I guess I'm just bitter that I wasn't challenged as a child.
  • How to help my mom understand?

    Hi, So I've had social anxiety for about 6 years now. It was onset by PTSD from my father and as more things contributed to my PTSD it got worse. When I first realized I had it, I was still able to live a fairly normal life. I went to school, I hung out with my mom and step-dad, I even hung out with friends. As it got worse, I found that the easiest thing for me was being alone. I've always been very independent and loved being alone. I feel like being alone is the only time I can be myself and not worry what others are thinking and not worry when I'm going to have to speak next. I have a lot of irritability around others as well. I have mood swings from bipolar type 2. My therapist has diagnosed me with PTSD, GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), Social Anxiety, Dis-associative Personality Disorder, Eating Disorders, Suicide Ideation, and Bipolar Disorder Type 2. Knowing all this gets overwhelming at times but I feel like I handle it pretty well. Medications don't seem to help, but herbs do (I'm an herbalist which helps). My main issue is my mom. We weren't very close when I was a child. This was primarily do to the fact my father would tell me to say things to her that I assumed to be harmless casual things and was later told were evil, manipulative things that made her believe I hated her. When I was 13, she tried to move myself and her to another state and custody was revoked from her and given to my father. While I was forced to live with my father, I began self-harming, attempting suicide, and became anorexic. About a year later, my fathers violent behaviors only got worse and as a result my mother regained custody and I was able to live with her again. While living with her, we started to get close. She became my best friend and I became hers. I was about 14 at the time. To this day, we're still very close. I'm 19 now. However, she doesn't understand what goes on in my head at all. She has some similar mental health issues but whenever I have a bipolar episode or a suicidal thought or social anxiety and just want to be left alone, she never knows what to do. She thinks that I hate her and my stepdad if I need to be left alone which is often. I can't tell her if I feel suicidal anymore because she freaks out every time and becomes very mean to me because she's scared. Now I'm beginning to feel like I can't really talk to her about anything serious. I admit that I don't get along with my stepdad because we have personalities that clash. He's not very understanding, he too lashes out if anyone is having a serious problem, and we have no common interests. Whenever we talk it seems to end in an argument because he feels like he always has to be right and sometimes in order to get that feeling of being right he tries to make others feel like anything they believe or like is wrong. He also enjoys starting arguments and if someone isn't fighting with him, he'll try to pick a fight with someone else. I know I need to work on building a relationship with him, but of course my mom is my main priority. Any suggestions on how to help her understand? I've tried explaining it to her, she just doesn't seem to understand.


we are a community of people struggling with mental health issues, you are not alone!



We are a community of people struggling with mental health issues, you are not alone!