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Used to be close to my cousins

I used to be close to my cousins, would have fun at family reunions and have the best time. Now, they don't talk to me, they ignore me and never ask me if I want to hang out with them. They adore one of my siblings though. When I see them with my sister and having fun and not inviting me, I just want to hide and cry because of how much they make me feel left out and unloved. I have social anxiety and get nervous around a huge group of people, I can't help it. My parents just assume I'm being a jerk, and need to be kind to them. My mom always forces me to talk to people and smile and act like I care, but honestly I don't and I'm too nervous to. My parents don't understand what social anxiety is I feel. Even one of my aunts said about me, "She has this look all the time, so I don't know if she's happy, sad, or mad. I try to stay out of her way and away from her." My cousins will never understand the pain I go through in my personal life. I can't call them family because they haven't always been there for me all the time, and I don't remember them ever saying they loved me to my face. How can I get my cousins to see me as a good person and not bad? I feel like we won't have a relationship in the future if we're gong to keep acting like this. Or is it just not worth it? Was it worth all those years of feeling empty, lonely, and left out and crying about it all those years? *NOTE*: I want some honest advice here. I have posted about this on multiple websites and no one replied to them or they gave me their personal experience, but didn't answer my questions. So please, if you have honest, great advice to give, please give it. If not, then please not say anything at all. Looking for great advice, please and thank you. :)
Category: Advice 5 years ago
Asked 5 years ago

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