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How do I not feel drained in my own home?

Hey, so I just joined. Some back story for the above question: My husband and I invited a friend to move in with us about a year ago. This friend had just graduated college was kicked out of her parents home and was jobless. Now this friend has a job. All three of us have some mental health issues. I have anxiety/depression which I take medication for. My husband has some anger/paranoia which he goes to a counselor and therapist for. Our friend has depression. Anyway recently it seems like everyone is just tense. My husband and this friend at separate times come to me with near identical complaints about the other and how they won't listen, are toxic and manipulative etc. Additionally this friend is constantly complaining about how they don't have friends, how we don't care about them, how we never spend time with them. I am already incredibly drained from long unpredictable work hours and doings tasks all day long that tax my anxiety. Like public speaking, phone calls, open office environment, etc. When I get home I do try to be available for my friend but there works hours are even longer and more unpredictable than mine. However I just I feel like I am walking on eggshells in my own home. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice or resources I can use?

Written by JMRothwell Category: Advice one year ago

Asked one year ago

JMRothwell

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I'm probably not the best person to answer this but... If you're being made to feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your own home, you can tell your friend that you are letting them stay with you free of charge and that if they are going to do nothing but bring the home down, they are free to find someone else to live with. I've always had the opinion that unless a person is very sensitive, make clear lines in the sand about where things stand (rhyme not intended) and refuse to back up past them. A person having depression or anxiety doesn't give them a free excuse to act however they want to people, especially if they are going to actively be terrible to people and use that as their excuse.

Answered one year ago

Matt

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I totally agree negative energy move it

Answered one year ago

ssallee

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I agree ^^ you need to remove that negative energy from your house. (your friend). you need to focus on your health and your husbands health. It's your home which you should feel comfortable in, and you're husband is working on his mental health so he doesn't need the stress either. I hope something gets figured out soon. People with certain mental illnesses will feel as if people who bother with them everyday.. don't. It's like your attention will never be enough. I think with all the mental illnesses they are clashing and you can't exactly help someone when you're trying to focus on your own health. You need to make sure you're stable and keep yourself healthy mentally and physically as you are working and can't get run down.

Answered one year ago

Cbout96

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How do I not feel drained in my own home?

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