I get tongue tied. Shaky. I'm out of ideas how to be the person I wish I could be. (Not worrying about what others say about me, being myself around people has never happened. I go into automatic pleasant and sweet mode) but feeling uncomfortable to be me around people for fear of criticism and rejection is really making me avoid going out to associate even if it is with my husband. He just doesn't. 'get it'. He is the opposite. Very comfortable with being himself in social situations. I watch him and I envy him. Also if anyone says anything hateful towards him he shrugs it off so easily while it eats at me for at least a good month. If I've done something I take responsibility but these are pretty hateful words coming from a couple of people I don't even know that well and have only seen here and there at church. :/
So sorry guys for the long message. I'm on clonazepam and cipralex right now. Have had social anxiety and fear of rejection all my life. (28 now) been on every anti depressant and anxiety medication through and through growing up and well cipralex helps my mood..it doesn't help my anxiety at all. Clonazepam only keeps my panic attacks away when I feel them coming on.
Goodness I hope this long message isn't overwhelming as my first question. I guess I have a lot more I need to ask than I thought!
Love and healing to all.
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