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Fear of criticism & being around people?

What has helped anyone on here to slowly break free of that self made prison? It's starting to consume my life 24/7 and I've read every self help book. Seen five therapists. Nothing has helped! I am willing and wanting to change but as soon as I'm around anyone I tense up and get the word someone used on here that really describes it..'mute-ism'
I get tongue tied. Shaky. I'm out of ideas how to be the person I wish I could be. (Not worrying about what others say about me, being myself around people has never happened. I go into automatic pleasant and sweet mode) but feeling uncomfortable to be me around people for fear of criticism and rejection is really making me avoid going out to associate even if it is with my husband. He just doesn't. 'get it'. He is the opposite. Very comfortable with being himself in social situations. I watch him and I envy him. Also if anyone says anything hateful towards him he shrugs it off so easily while it eats at me for at least a good month. If I've done something I take responsibility but these are pretty hateful words coming from a couple of people I don't even know that well and have only seen here and there at church. :/
So sorry guys for the long message. I'm on clonazepam and cipralex right now. Have had social anxiety and fear of rejection all my life. (28 now) been on every anti depressant and anxiety medication through and through growing up and well cipralex helps my mood..it doesn't help my anxiety at all. Clonazepam only keeps my panic attacks away when I feel them coming on.
Goodness I hope this long message isn't overwhelming as my first question. I guess I have a lot more I need to ask than I thought!
Love and healing to all.

Nicole
Category: Social Anxiety 7 years ago
TitaniumSheWolf
Asked 7 years ago

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Hi. Well, I for one don't have a magic bullet answer for you, but I do know exactly how you feel. I completely shut down at social gatherings like parties or clubs. It is the most frustrating occurrence. It is as though my body is so distracted and worn out by the tension that there is no energy left to produce new thoughts. So I'm just there wishing I was either interacting or home and wondering how bizarre I must appear. But it's really just shyness, and the way I appear is shy. The bizarre part I guess is when someone actually is kind enough to engage you in conversation, and then you either say something completely random or run out of steam very quickly and have nothing more to say. It really is very painful. I use to feel very bad about myself. I never hated myself, but I was certainly let down and I felt betrayed by my own being. I don't know if the answer is psychological, or physical, or environmental, or some complicated combination of them all. But I do know that I am just like you, and therefore I consider you one of the most important and special people in the world.
TerrenceMcNulty
Answered 7 years ago
TerrenceMcNulty

It helps a lot to know we're not alone. Thank you for reaching out my new friend! Hugs! Nicole
TitaniumSheWolf
Answered 7 years ago
TitaniumSheWolf

I have this problem too, this is because we are oversensitive. I wasn´t like this all my life, I had ups and downs..I still remember the good old times when nothing scared me, but I also know that I was kinda superficial on those times and I met only wrong people. When I got this anxiety, I met new kind people, but I was already too lost to undestand the value of this. Now I want to change, but I am stil on a process of doing it. The things I have in my mind while I socialize now is the knowledge that 50% of the people around the globe are shy and maybe as scared as I am, so this it gives me a bit of comfort on understanding that I am are not the only one. It is also human to be concern on others people oppinion on you. So, you are not the only one!! I hope we will find our way together through this by being here and sharing our emotions.
Answered 7 years ago

I have bee suffering all my life too...I have no answer...I would love to change and am trying to but it is so exhausting battling myself , my thoughts....I keep hoping one day it wll just stop and i will have a good life .....
stumpd
Answered 7 years ago
stumpd

How do we become less over sensitive?? I think if people's comments didn't get to me so easily and eat at me to the point I lose my appetite over it than I would overcome this somehow. Any suggestions? What do you guys do when people reject/criticize you?
TitaniumSheWolf
Answered 7 years ago
TitaniumSheWolf

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