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social anxiety and dating?

I been on the dating scene for quite a while and i am really concerned that my social anxiety is going to make me die a virgin :( do you guys know any strategies to deal with dating for people with social anxiety?
Category: Social Anxiety 7 years ago
alex16
Asked 7 years ago

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There are two pieces advice I can give you that I hope will help: The first is to be yourself. Don't try to impress the other person or act differently because you're afraid they won't like you otherwise. If you're up front with your hobbies or even with things like your anxiety it will make things go smoothly. The right person will accept you just the way you are and are likely to be more understanding towards you. The second (and possibly the more difficult one) is to try not to think about what the outcome of your dates will be. Try not to anticipate it to go badly or for something really great to happen. It's definitely good to want things to go well, but if you play it in your head a certain way and it ends up not happening that way later on then it can be really difficult. Just let things flow as they do without much thought of how they could be. This will feel more rewarding when it ends up being great and you didn't even plan it being that way. If you do end up having some not so great dates, don't sweat it. Instead of thinking about how it went wrong, try thinking about it as a learning experience that you can use for future dates so that you can try avoiding it if it comes up again. I hope I've helped and good luck. :) You'll find that special someone, don't worry. You seem like a determined enough individual.
apesintheak
Answered 7 years ago
apesintheak

In what ways do you find your anxiety is complicating things? Do you struggle with approaching strangers in public settings? If so, online dating might help. Its a way to get out there without the pressure that comes with meeting strangers face to face and its easier to be open about who you really are. People young and old date online now, and there's a ton of sites to choose from. If your concerns are about the dates themselves, try not to let your eagerness get the best of you. Make sure to breathe and be calm, as if you're just making a new friend. Asking questions about the other person is a good way to take the focus off of yourself for a moment and also shows the person you're interested in getting to know them. If the date doesn't go as well as expected or if you make some mistakes, its not the end of the world. You'll find someone eventually and there will always be someone else to date, so don't worry too much!
StarStuff
Answered 7 years ago
StarStuff

I don't really have much advice, I never really did the dating thing. However, I would say online dating could work. I didn't meet my boyfriend on a dating site, but we did meet online. It took a few years to meet, but it worked out. We've been together for 7 years now. So there's hope. I think it helped that we spent so much time talking before meeting. And the meeting wasn't even about going on a date. Just two people hanging out. Take out the expectations and just try to be yourself. Someone out there will appreciate who you are...the good and the bad. :)
kb4306
Answered 7 years ago
kb4306

I joined an online dating site, i found it so much easier to interact with people this way, because i felt safe. You can get to know someone before meeting them face to face and you know that they are interested in getting to know more about you right from the start, so no awkward approaches in bars to a total stranger, who you have no idea if they are even single, let alone interested. You can take you time and when you think you feel confident enough with someone you can arrange to meet them in the kind of place you feel most comfortable. I met my other half on a dating site and we have been together 11 years now despite all my problems. Good luck
juliab33
Answered 7 years ago
juliab33

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