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Originally, I posted a breakdown because I saw some stupid video where someone created a Minecraft stage that lasts until the universe ends, which is TRILLIONS of YEARS. Now, I got depressed by this, but not because the universe will end someday, or the typical "nobody will remember you" thing, but because someone TIMED it. Thinking about the universe being timed just made Something SNAP in me, because seeing the universe being counted, makes me feel trapped, and incredibly hard to enjoy the present day. But after hours of pondering, I figured out why it's hard to ignore this, or realize that the universe can't be counted. Because it reminds me of how time goes by so fast. Yeah, the fact that someone made a timer of the UNIVERSE reminds me that I got so much limited time of life. I don't want to be reminded of how much time I have left, and I want to not care about time and universe at all, ESPECIALLY after a YEAR of pondering it. So seeing a timer of everything just WRECKS everything for me. It's just that..time and the future are my greatest fears. I try to ignore how time goes by fast, and enjoy it..but seeing the video just ruins the mindset for me. Now, I'm sure it's just me over-thinking things again. I'm sure that's not how the clock works, or that it's just a video about life and philosophy. Heck, this actually HELPED people with depression. But again, it's uncomfortable thinking about a timer that will go on forever until the universe ends. I don't know how I will move past this one, but I'm sure I will one day. Heck, I won't care about the clock anymore when I'm dead. But it's just...why must this happen to me?