Leaving the house has been one massive hurdle for me. Heck, I can't even answer the front door half the time.
But I left the house the other day.
It was fabulous.
I live in the suburbs of one big city, one chaotic city. Even the suburbs are full on and feel more like a city then suburbs.
I went to the zoo. The entire car ride there I was so so anxious, I was shaking, my palms were sweaty, I couldn't get comfortable in my seat, I put my hair up and took it down countless times. When I spoke I either rambled thousand words or merely mumbled a word or two. As we approached the zoo I could feel my heart beat incease, buds of sweat forming on the back of my neck. I was physically and mentally uncomfortable.
Pulled into the car park right next to another car who had just pulled up and as I got out of the car, the lady in the car next to ours looked at me and said "You look beautiful"
I was shocked.
I'm a teenage girl with my own body image insecurities on top of anxiety, and here was this nice stranger whom I have never met before this encounter and tells me I look beautiful. I mean, getting compliments used to be a daily thing for me. Before anxiety took over my life I was a popular girl. Always with the fake tan, nails done, hait done, always looking runway ready so compliments used to be on the daily for me. Then when I started getting anxious I stopped getting my hair done, I stopped getting my nails done, I stopped getting spray tans and waxes every week. My physical appearance did a complete 180. And I haven't recieved a compliment irl all year. Yeah online I've had people comment on photos of myself saying I look pretty or something along those lines, but it had been so long for someone to compliment me that I swear I went into a bit of shock.
Obvi I thanked her for the compliment.
But for the rest of the trip I was so caught up on the fact that someone had called me beautiful that I didn't feel anxious at all. I had so much fun at the zoo with all the animals and my family.
It was a great experience