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Persistent Thoughts

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I think sometimes the hardest part of having Panic Disorder is the persistent thoughts...thinking about my anxiety, thinking about a panic attack, thinking about what I'd tell a doctor about my feelings and thoughts, thinking about making an appointment with a doctor to talk about it, thinking about thinking about it, thinking about what's causing it, thinking about having a serious panic attack in public, thinking about fainting in public, thinking about living with the anxiety and on and on.  My mind nearly always is running through mock scenarios in my mind of different situations and what I'd say or do.  It's like I'm obsessed with the one thing I want to forget.  I try to focus so much on not letting the panic in; not letting it win or control me.  I surpress it, and try to control it through sheer will power (which is not always easy).  I am a very stubborn, strong willed woman, and I will not let it run my life, nor will I let it control my actions.  I have stayed at work even through sometimes very severe panic attacks and worked through the day, all the while going through waves of heart pounding, hyperventilating, chest spasming feelings.  I can do this, but it seems I need to focus on focusing my thoughts elsewhere as well.

_Megan_

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