Being alone. Some fear it. I love it.
If I was the last person on Earth, I think I would do pretty well. No, I don't really have any knowledge on end of the world survival, but I do have one "skill" that would be in my favor. I am really good at being alone.
So, I'm in college now. Many people may not agree or believe it, but college can be a great place for people who love being alone. If I wanted to, I could probably go the whole year without making friends....but don't worry, I won't.
First, I feel like I am being pressured to make friends by my parents and friends. Second, I know I will be judged and be thought of as freak if I didn't try to make connections. The other day, my sister asked me if I had any friends, and even though I technically didn't lie because I think I have friends here, I may have acted a little too confident- "Oh yaa, I have friends. I mean it's a small group but ya they're really nice...". It didn't bother me at the time.
Sometimes I hate being alone. I was on the phone with my best friend yesterday and she asked me again about my friends. I told her the same thing that I told my sister. "I have a small group of nice friends". Didn't bother me. Then our conversation was suddenly cut short. She had to go. Her roommate just walked in and something hilarious just happened. She's too busy with her new life, so she has to go. I hung up the phone and felt so alone and so isolated.
If I like being alone so much, then why do I feel guilty when my roommate comes back from her friends' place at 2 am? Why do I cringe when my friend asks what I have planned this weekend? (Netflix and enjoying my own company). I thought loved it. My favorite part of the week used to be when I knew I could sit in my room, watch tv, and not have to talk to anyone. But now it feels a lot more lonely than it used to.